Colin has been working as a sex engineer and relationship therapist for 15 years. He has given sexual performance mentoring sensual massage and erotic bodywork specifically to women for six years. Colin and his work has been regularly mentioned in the press and featured nationally by Channel 5 in its ‘Sex Business’ documentary 2018, the BBC, The Independent, The Metro, Reveal Magazine, I News and The Daily Mirror Colin is also is the appointed Sex Mentor for the internationally famed women led on and offline sexual playground club Killing Kittens for whom he runs workshops and specialist talks on sex and sexuality as well as provides online advice to the KK members.
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olin’s mission is to make available his skills as a sex engineer relationship psychologist to as many people as possible. Colin believes that the suppression of our natural sexuality is nothing short of a crime against humanity. One of the three pillars of life the other two being food and security sex is the only one that is marginalised and judged and still in some societies controlled. Specifically the suppression of female sexuality. For many centuries women have been forced to contain and control their sexuality. Culture, religion, social rules even misguided experts have coerced women into believing that they are not entitled to be sexual beings. Female sexuality has a profound place in human nature. Without this powerful life force society, the human race itself, would not exist. Consequently, nature has embodied women with complex physiological, psychological, emotional and sexual processes that are designed to maintain optimum biology and social support to ensure the survival of her and her offspring. These primal processes are still beating loudly within every female today and it is vital for a woman’s well-being that this sexual energy is exercised regularly. When it comes to sexuality and what turns women on, women are often regarded as complex even confused but this opinion is usually given by men. This is because men are trying to understand female sexuality from the male’s perspective. A man’s relationship with sex is quite simple, quantity over quality. Whereas a females sexual strategy is manifold with quantity equal to quality.
A sperm war ensures survival
For 950,000 years and more and long before humans developed from living as nomadic hunter-gatherers to becoming settled farmers, a sharing society to proprietary society, women behaved sexually in a very different way than society allows today. In order to make sure she survived childbirth, produced healthy offspring and that both she and the child survived, the female would mate with multiple males. This not only gave her a better chance of her bodies biology to select the optimum sperm it also created multiple paternity as none of the males she mated with would know whose offspring it was. Therefore to be certain their genetic lineage continued all the mated with males had a vested interest in keeping both her and the child alive.
By having multiple sexual partners as a strategy the female creates a metaphorical sperm war thus ensuring the healthiest and best-matched sperm will win. By doing this she also creates a ruse to convince the participating males to care for her during and after the pregnancy when she and her offspring are at their most vulnerable.By having the close attention and support of a selection of males, each with different skills set and personality maximises her and the chances of her offspring of survival.
This may be why the modern female when having sex with a man today find themselves unable to relax as quickly as the men when having sex because a) she is unconsciously seeking out more than just one suitable mate but multiple mates ( fantasies of gang bangs) But also to have sex with multiple males would take time and puts her in a vulnerable state (orgasm = loss of control) so she also needs to be sure she is in a safe place. For many women today, ‘letting go’ can be a challenge resulting in difficulty or even an inability to orgasm. To remedy this foreplay essential as this helps calm and arouse her body to be ready for sex. So today’s girl to enjoy sex as she is meant to either must choose to become more sexually adventurous this type of sexual openness with this risk of her reputation being besmirched or she must find a confident creative lover who can embody sexually the traits of multiple males. Or she can seek out sensual massage as a safe, discreet and professional option to allow her body and libido to behave as it is created to do so.
Taking a sensual massage should not be viewed as just a pleasure for women. It should also be regarded as an important part of a healthy lifestyle for both a woman’s body and her mind. It provides her with time to be a receiver, it gives her the opportunity to experience different sensual and sexual dynamics, it provides her with a non-judgemental, not expective environment and it normalises sexual arousal as a natural function.
Lack of arousal can cause poor well-being
But when a woman finds herself in a situation where her natural sexual feelings are denied, (non-sexual relationship) suppressed (religious or cultural dogma) or simply switched off and ignored (trauma and rape) then nature can be pragmatic and soon her health and well-being can be negatively effected. Disconnection, frustration, rejection, depression and poor health can be a consequence of a lack of sexual intimacy and erotic arousal.
Listen to your body
If a woman is feeling sexually needy then it is a clear indication that her body is speaking to her. Masturbation is one solution and although very pleasurable it does not recreate the intimacy of foreplay and primal energy of penetrative sex. Taking a sensual massage provides an opportunity to satisfy this desire, safely and discreetly.
The skill of a professional sensual masseur is to be able to create with their hands and imagination the same erotic effect that a woman would experience with prolonged varied sexual arousal. Combine this with the intimacy and arousing touch of a relaxing professional massage and she will immediately feel the benefits. Female clients have reported back very soon after a massage that they feel emotionally elated, more grounded, calmer, less anxious, more confident and feel physically relaxed and healthier. If taken regularly then even more profound effect can be experienced such as an improved immune system, better skin, natural loss of weight.
Some might think good girls don’t do this. I say ‘ Clever girls do this’!
Colin has been working as a professional relationship therapist masseur and mentor for sexual development for men women and couples for twelve years and in this time he has given over 8000 hours of sensual massage. His female clients range from single women, married women, women with partners, women of all ages from 18 to 80 years, all with varying body types from petite to voluptuous and of many different ethnicities and cultures.
What reasons do women give for wanting a sensual massage?
Some women give the reason for wanting the massage as simply a desire for personal exploration and pleasure others it can be a need to satisfy sexual frustration. Some come for advice and treatment for a sexual performance problem such as an inability to orgasm or fear of intimacy. Others come along for just “me time”. Whoever the person or whatever reason they give my goal is to give them an experience that is not only professional, caring and safe but also one that is profoundly satisfying and fulfilling, some say life-changing.
25 reasons given by female clients for taking a sensual massage
- I am tense and need an unconditional orgasmic release.
- Difficulty reaching orgasm when with another person.
- Curiosity and satisfying a fantasy.
- Lack of sexual stimulation in my relationship.
- Recently my libido has increased considerably.
- Frustration/lack of stimulation by my partner.
- Guilt/Morality/Shame around sex.
- Letting go of control and trusting others with control.
- Recoverer of sexual aggression/abuse.
- Complacency in a relationship = no longer stimulated by my partner.
- I love my partner but I find I now feel sexually lacking with him.
- Lack of skill/knowledge by myself and partner.
- I am on holiday/business so free to explore my erotic needs.
- Postmenopausal and still very sexual.
- Postmenopausal and still very sexual and my partner is not.
- Convenience and self-care (busy professionals who don’t want a relationship).
- I have cultural or religious restrictions and I need a safe place to explore my sexuality.
- Exploration of sexual practices as yet untried or unwanted by my partner.
- Poor body image and lack of sexual self-esteem.
- I want my partner to watch me have a sensual massage.
- I want my partner to give me four hands with the masseur.
- I want to explore my bisexuality with a male & female masseur couple.
- I want to explore Female Orgasm Denial
- I want to feel desired and dominated
- I have always had a fantasy of being erotically massaged by a masseur.
I am nervous but want to try this out.
The most frequent comment Colin hears after a female client has taken a sensual massage is why did she not do it sooner. With this in mind Colin has created an introductory 60 minute Absolute Explore massage For women who want to experience the full massage he offers the 90 or 105 Absolute Massage.
Book an appointment or to ask Colin a questions
Call/Text/WhatsAPP 07966 522 696
email colin@intimacymatters.co.uk
To read more about all the treatments Colin provides women [Click Here]
