Read through this Mail on Line article then click on the link at the foot of the page to read Colin’s perspective on the motivations behind Cuckolding
Watching your partner have sex with another person can strengthen your relationship, claim controversial scientists
- Some people have ‘cuckhold fantasies’ in which their partner cheats on them
- Scientists claim cuckolding couples who act on their desires feel liberated
- This allows them to enjoy better communication skills than other couples
- Research and comment by the researchers, however, have been criticised
- Comments were made by psychologist Dr David Ley, author of ‘Insatiable Wives’ and Dr Justin Lehmiller, a psychologist at Ball State University
Check out original article on Mailonline
For many couples, cuckholding is a shameful secret.
But a group of scientists claims the act of cuckholding – in which a man or woman enjoys watching their partner having sex with another person – can be good for a relationship.
According to the researchers, cuckolding couples who act on their desires feel liberated because they can be honest about their sexual fantasies.
This means they enjoy better communication skills than couples in ‘normal’ relationships.
However, their controversial view has been slammed by some as ‘bizarre’ and an attempt to ‘normalise this behaviour’.
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Cheating on your partner with their consent can be good for your relationship, according to controversial new research (stock image)
The Old English form of the word cuckhold means something slightly different to the term used today.
Traditionally, a ‘cuckold’ described the husband of an adulterous wife, and it was designed to be a humiliating label.
But according to a controversial article in CNN, cuckoldry is increasingly becoming a popular and sought-out fetish.
‘This fantasy has been around as long as marriage and sexuality,’ Psychologist Dr David Ley, author of ‘Insatiable Wives’ told CNN.
‘We’re hearing more and more about it these days, and more people are rejecting the social stigma against this fantasy’, said Dr Ley, who has recently published a paper on cuckolding with Dr Justin Lehmiller an assistant professor in psychology counselling at Ball State University.
The researchers claim lots of people find pleasure and empowerment by fulfilling their cuckolding fantasies.
For his book, ‘Tell Me What You Want: The Science of Sexual Desire and How It Can Help Improve Your Sex Life,’ Lehmiller questioned thousands of Americans.
He found that 58 per cent of men and about a third of women had cuckolding fetishes.
‘In order to engage with cuckolding, the members of the couple must share with each other desires and interests that are often perceived as shameful’, Dr Ley, who has a PhD in clinical psychology from the of New Mexico told MailOnline.
‘This can lead to greater acceptance and higher levels of honesty.
‘Couples I’ve seen who were successful at making cuckolding a part of their sex loved had some of the most effective communication skills that I’ve ever seen in any couple’, he said.
To further their research, scientists looked at fantasies about and experiences with cuckolding in a sample of 580 largely gay men.
‘Most notably, interracial and BDSM themes do not appear to be as common in gay men’s cuckolding fantasies as they are among heterosexual men’, researchers wrote in their paper.
The content of these fantasies is often associated with individual differences such as an individual’s interest in sensation seeking and sociosexuality.
‘Finally, this study also suggests that gay men who act on their cuckolding fantasies tend to report positive experiences; however, the likelihood of reporting positive outcomes appears to depend upon one’s personality and attachment style’, they wrote.
‘It’s not that it is automatically or inherently healthy or positive, but in the increased communication, connection and acceptance that a couple may experience as they pursue it’.
The study, however, remains controversial.
Many have criticised the authors for claiming the sexual practices of the gay community have implications for heterosexual couples.
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